FRIENDS ONLY

Some things from tonight:
-Random text message from best friend that I haven't seen in two years.

-Seeing said friend and hanging out with them until now.

-Going out to Gilley's and us being hit on my many a drunken guy.

-Getting to two-step with a very drunken guy who liked to be twirled.

-Getting pulled over as we're pulling into her neighborhood at three in the morning. The FIRST AND ONLY time I've been pulled over, and it was for nothing. My car was the same make and model that they identified in a shooting, but sadly-- we are not four African American males.

-Said pulling over brought forth a 15 minute recruitment speech from said officer for me to join my friend in the Navy.

*sigh* It's been an amazing and unexpected evening. Now it will turn into an amazing weekend. Tamara will be in town until Wednesday, then she ships off for 7 months sometime in the future. Even though I can't see my best friend, I'll get pretty things from overseas. :D I'm glad that now we'll be really able to keep in touch.

I take it that out-driving a developing tornado is something you do once in a lifetime, right? I sure hope so.

My nerves are shot. I'm going to bed. Welcome home to me indeed.

It's strange to really sit and think about the difference that a year makes. I mean-- really just sit in the silence of wherever, get into your head and think. That's what I did last night. I couldn't sleep for the life of me, so around 2:30 in the morning I got up and went to the place where I had some of the best conversations with people in my life.

I sat there in the parking lot of the Wal-Mart up the road, and I turned off my car. I thought about everything, anything... everyone, anyone... My mind was going about a mile a minute. I thought about the past year... the past two years... about everything that's happened to me since I left home for the very first time to go out on my own. It's abduntly clear that I'm not the person that I was when I left. They say that college is a time where a person changes, but I never expected that I would have really changed that much. It's amazing how much I've grown up, but at the same time have become so scared of that prospect. There are so many things that I want to do with my life, but I stop myself before I even start to accomplish them.

I've met so many amazing people. Some amazing people have turned their back on me, and I've turned my back on some pretty amazing people myself. There are bridges that I burned that I'm suddenly realizing that I never should have lit the match. There are some bridges that I'm glad have charred. I wish there was some people, at least one person I know of for sure, that I could have back in my life. It's funny-- I have people that want to hang out with me (at least I think so) at school. I have a life at school. However, I get home and pretty have no one. I was always told that it would be different when you came home, I just never expected to be so lonely. I hardly have any friends here anymore and making new ones isn't as worth it because I'll just end up leaving again, leaving them behind, and the cycle will continue all over again.

Growing up is just becoming even more complicated.

I went back in my journal and found something that I wrote a year and a half ago. It's amazing how much of it still applies to everything about me. Everything that I'm feeling, everything that I'm craving, everything that I can't fully explain.

( What a difference a year (and a half) makes... )

Sometimes all it takes is a little reminder.

Man, I sure did learn a lot in that Wal-Mart parking lot...

Wow! Two updates in one day! AHA! Anyway-- this goes with the other post. It's pictures of what I've been up to.

( Kitties love kryptonite... )

( This just seems like the popular thing to do today... )

That took some time while I stared at my torrent willing it to keep going. GO TORRENT GO!

I'm still super excited about my Spamalot tickets! AWOOHOO!

Post anonymously, say anything. How much you hate me, how much you love me, how much you can't stand me, how much more you want to spend time/talk with me. Whatever. Be brutally honest. Post this in your livejournal to find out what people think about you.

This came about from great inspiration provided by cdaidan. Thank you, Nadia. I never knew that I had so much bottled up inside, and trust me-- it isn't done yet. This is going to be an ever changing piece of writing, but for now- this is it.

( You underestimate the condition of my heart. )

Awoohoo!

Hey ya'll - this is katshakespeare, hacking into futureidol's journal. She's staying at my house and we're making signs for OMC for our concert tomorrow.

(i *heart* jerome, Clay - I'm wearing your shirt, TX-PA-VA for graduation, and ... Can I have an Oklahoma! hello?)

*dances around to RENT* 16 hours until we get in the car. 20 hours until we're in Charleston. 22 hours until Cherie starts singing. 23 hours until CLAY AIKEN LIVE IN CONCERT OMG LIKE WHOA!!!!

AWOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Anyway.

*coughs* Ahem.

BYE!